In the complicated age we are living in, with many false ideas and aggressive agendas, knowing how to be a good Christian wife can feel like a daunting responsibility. Take heart, friends! The Bible is still clear on the beauty of being the godly role model of the home. You, godly women, have the opportunity and privilege to help set the atmosphere of your home, proving Proverbs 31:28 to be true: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” (ESV) Let’s look deeper into the role of being a good Christian wife.
Characteristics of a Godly Wife
Good Christian women are first and foremost daughters of God.
To have our sins washed away with the intentions of living righteously, and also being full of the Spirit and bearing the fruit are foundational in our endeavors of being Christian wives. Our salvation is the first thing that we should consider when we are talking about being godly. Without the Spirit of God working actively in our lives, we will be relying on our own strength to weather the difficult times and the guidance from God’s Word that we may not understand.
The world around us balks at God’s ways without realizing the wisdom and protection that comes from obedience to His Word. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
A good wife creates a safe haven for her husband when she seeks God’s perfect plan for her life.
When the Spirit of God is active in our lives, we will produce the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). A home filled with fruit is a home that welcomes a weary husband home after a day of hard work.
Proverbs 21:9 says, “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” As Christian women, let us strive to honor God’s wisdom and make our homes full of peace and emotional warmth.
Learning and practicing God’s Word in our daily lives will automatically create a greater home environment. Prayer will also condition our atmosphere. Knowing what the Bible says about prayer will help you as well. While living under the same roof with others (children who are born and grow in the home), different ideas, personalities, temperaments, and goals will emerge. Communication with God will teach us about communication with others. It will also guide us on tampering down unrealistic expectations and finding mutual respect for one another.
For more information on prayer be sure to download my free ebook.
An important thing to note about the different roles for men and women
Ladies, make no mistake that we believe the Bible only addresses women and their conduct. Among other Bible verses, the Word of God commands of the Christian husband, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25), and “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:19) When a godly husband and godly wife both commit to giving their all, the home is a secure place to dwell.
For the Christian wives whose husbands are not living for the Jesus Christ, there are words of encouragement for you as well: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” 1 Peter 3:1-2
Good Things You Need To Consider In Order To Be A Great Wife
Good Christian women forgive
Marriage is something that cannot be mastered on the day we say our marriage vows. Much trial and error go into living with someone who has had his and her own ways of doing things for many years. A Christian woman who forgives easily is showing the love of Christ in her relationship. She is harnessing a quiet spirit. She knows the sneakiness of bitterness and refuses to allow it access to her heart. The atmosphere of her home is more important than a minor mistake from her husband.
Furthermore, the wise married woman also forgives those outside of her home who may have done something against her. She knows the potential of bitterness, and will not let it reside within her, which will ultimately affect her safe haven with her husband. A big part of making marriage work is seeking God’s wisdom and not allowing yourself to have a lack of self-control when it comes to your anger.
Good Christian wives are content with what they have and are assets to the family finances and the care of their homes.
Goals to better our lives are good and motivate us to work for the things we want to achieve in life. Whether it be buying a new home or simply pinching pennies to afford a new dress, godliness with contentment is great gain. Godly wives appreciate their own husbands and the efforts they put into marriage and life without comparing or being envious of others who have more and struggle less. These women consider the needs of the family as the first thing of importance, appreciating the extras (a new dress, dinner at a restaurant) as blessings. They pay attention to eliminating waste with water, electricity, and grocery spending. They make the home a comfortable place for their husbands (and children) to dwell, whether they live in a mansion or a small apartment.
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Verses 11-12
“She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:” Verses 27-28
Wife’s Responsibilities To Her Own Needs and Own Body
While the above characteristics of a good wife cover a broad area of things that should happen within the home, it is important that those of us striving to be the best godly wives we can be to also remember to take care of ourselves.
It is necessary to find times of refreshing for our minds and bodies. While much of Christian conduct is about serving others, the saying “You can’t pour anything out from an empty vessel.” is true.
Proper sleep, eating habits, and hygiene deeply affect how we feel and act. And there are good reasons. Sleep is crucial for productivity. Self-care is putting the phone down at night and resting enough to do our best for our families. Eating well fuels our bodies and goes hand-in-hand with proper sleep. Both help us to function our best. Hygiene preserves our hair and teeth, and also makes us feel better about ourselves.
While some may disagree, looking and smelling nice for our husbands is important just as we like our husbands to look and smell nice for us. Even more so is that we bathe and dress nicely for our own self-esteem and care. A wife that feels good about her appearance and is feeding her body the physical things it needs is more confident and more able to face the responsibilities and high standard she has for her husband and family.
Special note: Getting help when you need it.
If you find yourself in a place of depression, where the things listed above seem too daunting to accomplish, I encourage you to find a godly mentor who can help you get on your feet and fall in love with the role in your home that can change everything. There is no shame in seeking out counseling when you need it. Your mental health is important.